Phnom Penh, Cambodia
March 25, 2018
Today is one of those rare days when I wake up late. I’m so out of it from the half litre of Xanax I drank yesterday that I can’t even figure out where I am. Then it hits me: Phnom Penh, the capital of Cambodia. I’ve also got a bit of a hangover from the night before, spent with some friends I met while volunteering with elephants in the Cambodian jungle (one of the most special experiences of my trip through Southeast Asia).
As soon as I realise it’s already 11 a.m., I jump in the shower, trying to shake off my FOMO, Fear of Missing Out, that constant anxiety of wasting precious travel time. While getting dressed, I have breakfast: Oreos and a can of Nescafé. Within ten minutes, I’m already at the scooter rental shop picking one up.
Today I don’t want to overdo it, just a chill day exploring the city and its surroundings. I head to the capital’s massive market to wander around. Exactly how I like it: total chaos. People everywhere, stuff everywhere, food, smells, colours. Endless dirt, rats and cockroaches running around, shouting, kids playing with trash. There are mountains of random objects, scrap metal, and piles of clothes big enough to give you a headache. It’s that kind of chaos that makes me think, “This is insane. I’d never live here, but this is insane in the best way.” To this day, Phnom Penh remains the dirtiest city I’ve ever seen.
I buy an obviously fake bright orange The North Face backpack for 12 dollars, in Cambodia you can pay either in US dollars or in riel, which are basically worth nothing. I wander through the fruit and vegetable aisles until I reach the taxidermy section, stuffed dead animals and similar stuff, which is usually the part that interests me the most. My attention is caught by some small stuffed crocodiles. A few of these poor creatures are posed in ways that make them look ridiculous, standing upright, clapping, even dancing. Poor crocodiles.
I stop at the food stalls for lunch. For the first time, I try pho, which has absolutely nothing to do with Cambodia because it’s Vietnamese, but I wanted to try it anyway. It’s a noodle soup with pieces of meat. I’ll remember this pho forever, because thanks to it, I finally figured out what that taste was that I’ve always hated: cilantro. It looks exactly like parsley, but for some people, those with the OR6A2 gene, like me, it tastes like dish soap. So if you have that gene too, I get you. You’re not crazy.
While I’m eating, I look online for something to do today, considering it’s already 1:30 p.m. and half the day is gone messing around at the market. I find a place that could be perfect for sunset: Phnom Chisor mountain. Apparently, there’s a temple at the top with a spectacular view. I never look at photos of places online because I don’t want spoilers. I just know it’s not too far, a little over 50 km, about an hour and a half ride according to Google Maps.
I stop for gas and set the destination. Phnom Penh isn’t just the dirtiest city I’ve ever seen; I repeat, I’ve literally seen mountains of trash scattered along the streets, it’s also the most chaotic in terms of traffic. I only saw something similar in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, a few years later. People drive like maniacs here, but by now, after all my riding experiences and especially after Chiang Mai during my Shitty Day, I’ve figured out the secret to staying alive on the road in Asia: drive like absolute shit, just like they do.
Once I’m out of the city, I find myself on a long road cutting through the countryside. No more skyscrapers, just fields stretching to the horizon… and, of course, plenty of trash here too. The road is a mix of asphalt and dirt. The result? Smog and dust everywhere, sticking to my sweaty skin. It’s unbearably hot. My tank top turns from white to brown within minutes. I try to ignore the metallic noises coming from the scooter, but maybe I shouldn’t have.